A needed conversation

Posted on Sat Jun 10th, 2023 @ 3:02pm by Commander Raiden Kosugi & Lieutenant JG Eira Cortez

Mission: Just Another Day on Gladiator
Location: Gladiator
Timeline: After the Trinity Mission
3280 words - 6.6 OF Standard Post Measure

After the attack on the Unholy Trinity planet and its dissolution, Raiden took a look around at his office, and decided he needed a break and also he had something he needed to do. He reached up to tap on his commbadge, pausing right before he made the connection. Instead he sent a message to Eira.

The message read, "Eira, may I meet with you somewhere? Like having a coffee or something else. I've got something I need to converse with you about, and probably would be best to discuss it without others over hearing it. Do you have a suggestion? If so, let me know. -Raiden."

When Eira received the message and she read who it was from, she was slightly confused: Raiden hadn't spoken to her directly outside of the mission for a couple of weeks since their last encounter, and now he wanted to talk? Her stubborn side was saying to respond and say she wasn't available personally for the foreseeable future, but the emotional side was happy that he wanted to talk because she missed his company.

Her response read, "Where we first met, I'll be waiting there whenever you are free." It was short and sweet, but straight to the point.

Raiden received that message, giving quiet nod. He went to get changed and then made his way to where he and Eira first met. It was a certain spot in the hangar bay where the acoustics were great and the stars could be seen. It was where he first heard Eira sing. When he stepped out from the turbo lift and into the corridor which was outside the hangar bay, Raiden's heart started beating rapidly. It sent ripples through him, and he shivered. It reminded him of that nightmare he had, battling with that Kitsune which the former chief of intelligence had turned into. Taking a moment to steel himself, Raiden then walked through the area and then to the entrance.

Noting that his hands were sort of clammy, Raiden wiped them upon his black pants, gave a tug at the hem of his blue shirt before opening the door, and stepping in. His mouth was feeling slightly dry as he was feeling a bit nervous. Taking a moment to get some water and drinking it, Raiden made his way to where Eira said she would meet him.

"I am here." he said softly.

Eira felt his presence before she actually saw him and made a mental note of the nervousness and uneasiness he was experiencing. His message had been cryptic to the point the former Intelligence officer didn't have any idea what was going on.

She continued to look at the stars for a moment longer, "For all the momentary quietness in here, your thoughts are quite loud." She smiled slightly once she turned around to face him. "I hope this is an okay place to meet: it's away from everyone and I'm sure our conversation won't be overheard."

A gentle clearing of the throat, from Raiden then he spoke. "Its perfect, almost like, going to a full circle." He moved over to where she was, taking a seat next to her. "Eira, the last time we spoke I was a bit cryptic as to what was going on with me. After all that has happened so far, I really wish I had told you then what I will be telling you now. It just has been difficult to speak of what happened even now, I've only spoken to the counselors, the captain knows and now you will know." he seemed to be gathering some strength before he went on. "I've not spoken to anyone else, about this."

"Before the mission of going after the Trinity, I had a very disturbing event happen and it involved the former Chief of Intelligence, Verelan. It was a dream; well more than a dream, it was a nightmare. Verelan was in my dreams, she turned into a kitsune, a fox spirit, a were fox which in my culture they are evil. In the dream she was trying to kill me, we ended up fighting in my dream outside in the corridors before coming into the hangar. It was a hard fight, I had to use trickery in order to win though. I knew that I wouldn't survive a long battle. Romulans are rather strong and being a kitsune is even more of danger. I-I dragged her to an airlock in my dream and put her in an airlock and activated it." his breath was slightly ragged as he just rambled on about what happened.

"That was when I woke up, after I activated the airlock to send the Kitsune out into space. i was drenched in sweat, I thought it was just a dream then... I found the osol twist, the snack she liked to eat, on the floor near my bed. DNA matched hers, she was in my room..." His voice faded away as he closed his eyes just to collect himself.

Eira's eyes widened at the amount of turmoil this... woman... had put Raiden through as he explained it all and felt the emotions roll off him in waves. Before she could even stop to think about what to say, Eira turned to him and pulled him in to a tight hug, "I'm so sorry Raiden, I really am." Everything he'd just told her was a lot to take in and unpack so she Eira was at a bit of a loss on what to say.

His arms went around Eira to return her hug in a warm embrace, and he whispered, "Sorry, that was a bit much to just plop on you. " then he moved to let her go. "Its something that is difficult to really tell anyone. I thought I had killed her in truth, but I found that she was alive when she left the ship. I was really relieved to find that out." he shook his head to clear it some. "I never took her to my quarters, so there was a problem in the aspect that she was there in my quarters, near my bed, touching my face. I may not have been awake but I remembered later on the sensation of the points on my face as to having been pressed. Like a vulcan mind meld."

Eira frowned in response, "I guess the main thing is that she is gone now, and you didn't do anything wrong. Do you know why she would have targeted you directly though?" She shifted to get comfortable before adding "Do you feel like there have been any lingering effects if it was indeed a mind meld?"

"Perhaps she was looking for information, I was seeing images of the command staff and other people I had been in contact with. At that time I didn't know much about them. And I haven't noticed any lingering effects, besides well my having had trouble with anyone touching my face. Then again, we've been so busy with the whole Trinity mess that I hadn't any time to even assess the situation." Raiden responded honestly.

"In that case then, I'd hope she didn't find anything that's going to come back and cause problems for you, Cap, and everyone on this ship." Eira placed her hand gently on his one and gave it a light squeeze, "But please let me know if anything does happen or you start experiencing any signs, symptoms or anything unusual, because I still do care and i'm extremely thankful you've chosen to trust me by sharing it with me."

The one thing she kept to herself on the back of that comment was: "I always will".

"I am hoping that she hadn't found anything as well." Raiden responded, "I care about you as well, and I do trust you, hence my asking to meet with you." his eyes panned over this area where they had first met. Remembering her singing. "Are you, are you still singing to the stars?" having a bit of a smile, looking into her eyes.

She looked back at him with a wide look as she blushed a little, "With all the chaos of the Trinity mission, I... I really haven't had that much of a chance to come back here, let alone anywhere else." Her tone faultered slightly as she remembered what she was singing when they first met; it was a Swedish lullaby that had been sung to her by her aunt as a kid when she couldn't sleep.

He deserved to know the backstory behind it, "I.. It was a lullaby my aunt used to sing to me when I couldn't sleep, and it has been passed down through the generations in my family. I couldn't sleep the night we met and it just gave me the calm piece of mind, I guess, hence why you found me when you did."

Raiden gave a nod and then he asked, "Why were you unable to sleep that night? I would like to know." moving to make himself a bit more comfortable. He was interested in hearing what was troubling Eira.

Eira took a breath in and exhaled slowly, "One of the reasons I am how I am is because of what has happened in my past." She too shifted to get a bit more comfortable even though the topic was uncomfortable for her. "I was part of a covert operations mission on a hostile planet as a kind of double agent that ultimately failed and I got taken hostage."

Her voice waivered slightly as she continued, "I was blindfolded, tied and taken somewhere with a view of another room behind the glass. As a bargaining tool for me to give over what information I knew, they had captured my brother Aiden and he was tied and tortured in front of me. I can still feel the binds around me, see the fear in my brothers eyes, I remember the last words he said to me, and the sound the gun made when they fired the shot into the side of his head, killing him instantly."

She looked from Raiden to the stars blankly, as if seeing right through them, "It's my personal nightmare that I can't escape from and is what keeps me awake most nights." Then she looked back at him, "And that's why I am like I am."

This time it was Raiden's turn to give Eira an embrace. "Oh, Eira I am very sorry for that happening and for your loss. That is terrible. Sadly, words can not do justice to even provide the proper solace." his voice husky with emotion. "Losing someone is difficult enough but a brother. I would be devastated if I lost my brother. I know my father was devastated when he lost his brother."

Eira leaned into the embrace and held him a little bit tighter. It was a weird feeling to share even just the condensed version of what she was experiencing with someone else and she was glad it was Raiden there. She hadn't meant to take away from what he had to say either. "Its a pretty empty feeling that you learn to live with."

"Was he your only sibling?" Raiden couldn't remember if Eira had even told him that. He didn't let go of Eira, at the moment. Feeling that this line of questioning she would need him to not break contact. "What family members are still around?"

The last time she had been this candid with someone, it was back on the USS Hawaii with another CFCO-turned-XO named Rafe. He had managed to break down her walls just that little bit so the emotional damage could peak through. "Aunt, uncle and another brother, Logan. He was Aiden's twin, his other half, and his best friend. I barely speak to my aunt and uncle, and Logan doesn't want anything to do with me because he still sees me as a traitor to the Federation and the main reason he doesn't have his brother."

A deep sigh escaped her lips, "That's it. That's the family. It's broken and scarred in many different ways, but unfortunately, it's mine." She shrugged it off as the emotional wall went back up, "But this isn't about me, you wanted to meet to explain what had been going on with you and I hijacked it. I'm sorry for that."

"Eira, you didn't hijack the conversation. In fact i sent the query to you. Thank you for letting me know. This wasn't supposed to be all about me, it was just for I guess us, getting to know each other better? Finding out we have some shared experiences. Like my brother and father thinking that I have dishonored the family. And I am sorry that your family is treating you like that. There is one thing that a friend of mine had told me. If your blood family doesn't treat you right then, make another family instead. She had trouble with her family, they became rather toxic, so, she found another family. Which those on the Gladiator can be that."

Raiden looking Eira directly into her eyes. "It will be your choice though. I am certain that there are people on the crew who would love to be considered family. We all are looking for some sort of connection to help us survive, to live."

"You're actually quite smart, you know that?" She gave him a rare and endearing smile that was genuine. "And I thank you for giving me those options, I'm only really close with you and Walkens sister Emma so that's enough for me at this stage. And you know you're always able to bring things like this conversation to me any time, right?"

Raiden nodded, "Indeed, it is really nice to know, and also the same for you as well. " another pulling her close for a hug. "You know we do need to figure out training once more. I've neglected that aspect. I've been caught up in my own little world, that well, I shut people out."

"I've got some things to tidy up regarding the Trinity mission, but I can make time for whenever you're free and we can get back into it." She liked the training as it helped her work out things in a different way, and she got to spend time with Raiden outside of work. "The queen and king of shutting people out when things get too hard or we're in our own little worlds." Eira chuckled at the thought.

Raiden gave a light laugh then he winced. "yes about that, I was in my own world doing my martial arts routine and I didn't notice that Liala our chief counselor was there and well... I... hit her in the nose. I didn't know she was there. I was blindfolded and it was awful. She had been worried about me and she walks rather quietly." he shook his head at that memory. "I had forgotten to lock the door to the holosuite"

Eira could just picture the scene in her mind, "Ha ha, that would have been interesting to watch unfold. I hope she didn't hold that against you or I hope she got some accidental revenge?"

"She didn't hold it against me, as I was doing enough of being pissed off at myself and embarrassed all at the same time. I took her out to dinner as an apology." he groaned, as he remembered that scene as if it were still fresh in his mind. "I can't believe I didn't realize she was there. It bled rather badly, I thought I had broken her nose."

"At least you can't say you've got bloody on your hands in a negative way now," She nudged him playfully, "But next time I think she should announce herself when coming in, because I know I will be."

Raiden ruefully chuckled, "I hope so. " He moved his neck to loosen it up. "And I will make certain once again to have it locked." He took a deep breath and let it out, then took another look around, thinking for a moment or two. Then he looked at her once more. "We've definitely seem to have traveled a long journey together, when actually its only been a moment in time."

"As a kid, I always wanted to join Starfleet but never in my wildest dreams did I ever think this was where I was going to end up and I never would've chosen the path I've taken to get here." Eira shook her head, "But you're right: it's definitely been a long journey but I'm happy that it's been with you." There goes the vulnerability wall, she was just being completely honest.

"I am glad we met on this journey as well. Who knew I'd end up being an XO of a fabulous ship. " Raiden chuckled. He moved to get up, he was feeling a bit stiff. "Okay I've got to get up and straighten my legs just a bit." rising to his feet. "I don't mind sitting on the floor. Just my right leg started to fall asleep." wanting to get rid of the tingling sensation. He was slightly unsteady for a moment then he got his balance once again.

Eira had her legs out straight in front of her and folded herself over, as a ballet dancer would, and stretched as much as she could before coming back up and twisting her upper body slightly. "I'll just be happy to make it to Lieutenant at this stage. I reckon you should definitely be proud of that, maybe next step could be Captain?" Her tone was friendly, not sarcastic.

"Well I don't know about that, I am not bucking for that position anytime soon. I just barely got up to Commander status. My head is all in awhirl at this taking place." Raiden shaking his head. "I will have to send a communication to my family, boy will they be surprised." He looked over at Eira fondly. "I think that you'll get to being full lieutenant status in no time. Heck if I made it this far to my rank, why not you."

"I think your father will be so proud of you," Eira smiled sincerely and stood up herself, "I doubt that a promotion will happen soon, but who knows.. maybe a few strings could be pulled..." She said cheekily as she let the sentence trail off. "I mean, I may have it in with a certain someone after all."

Raiden grinned, "Well now... " giving her a wink. "Okay I've got to get going, I probably have paperwork to go over. My work never seems to end, but hey comes with the territory, right?"

"Fair is fair, but let me be the first one to leave; you've always had to leave first." Walking the short distance over to him, eira placed a hand on his shoulder, "Thank you for everything tonight, I think its been well needed for both of us, and I think I might actually be able to sleep better for once. And I mean everything I said as well. Have a good night, Raiden." With that, she turned to make her way to the turbolift to go back to her quarters, smiling a small smile to herself.

Raiden gave out a soft chuckle letting her have the final word, watching as she walked out, then he turned his eyes towards the stars. He felt better since he had shared with her about what happened. With a final look out that window, in the shuttle bay, he soon left as well.

END